Sunday, September 30, 2007

Still in Seattle - aka the home of the exploding Crapper.

Still in Seattle, enjoying the hilarious tourist opportunities.
One of the best things we've done was to take the famous Seattle Underground tour.. Did you know that at one time, all the original buildings and store fronts in Seattle and the street levels in the Downtown Pioneer Square building were at least one story down (3 or more stories as you get further away from the shore)?

We learned that this city was built on mudflats, and when the tide would roll in it would create all sorts of problems. Roads would become impassible downtown, and a poorly thought out plumbing system would cause pressure to build up and explode toilets on the cliffs above. The solution to being stuck in the mud was to build the roads 8 feet higher than the storefronts... so you had to climb down ladders to do your shopping. And then they filled it all in, creating this dilapidated underground area (some of which is increasingly becoming gift shops).

We also did a bit of shopping at Sonic Boom and the Pretty Parlor.

The highlight of the day, for me at least, was trekking up to Snoqualmie Falls and North Bend to do some Twin Peaks style nerding out. Enjoying cherry pie and damn fine tea because i don't drink Tweede's Cafe (aka the Double R Diner).

The night was capped by some bar hopping in the various Seattle bars that if anything have great themes and a stop at a friend's house to talk about such sundry topics as Denver the Last Dinosaur and hiding people in secret closets.

We head for the Southwest this afternoon!

Friday, September 28, 2007

2 848 362.99 smoots - seattle

We're on the west coast!

Things heard from the street from Heather's apartment
"bring my name to you i'll bring your name to me"
"hey george clooney"
"no poop"
" i won't play games, i'm right here"

Tomorrow = Seattle Underground tour and assorted not being in the car for a day!

smoots to seattle

grand tour of cities beginning with
the letter "s" continues! we're in seattle!

more later

Thursday, September 27, 2007

On the decimation of deer.

It is here that the definition of "meat plow" comes into play.

Basically, a "meat plow" is when you have a tiny car, and there are lots of deer, you pick a semi to ride behind at a safe distance.

Because deer are stupid.
Or they think that cars are some sort of prey. Either or.

Also, trekked down a eroding highway to see devil's tower.

This means something.

We are having too much fun :)

smoots in montana (high meat content)

south dakota! spent the day tooling around the badlands
and then on to america's favorite theme-town, Wall. ate
some gut-explosion-inducing chicken. aimee had the
burger. we both passed on the garden salad--surrounded
by all this roaming, grazing, meat!

another sun set into the western-laid mountains.
another night spent trying not to run over deer.
such as:

    me: how fast does one have to go to completely decimate a deer?
    aimee: i know! there aren't even any bones left!

i mean, where does all that deer stuff go?
it all just vanishes on impact. into powder.
and a pollock on the pavement! gross!

now we're in billings, montana awaiting
the continental breakfast at 8:30am.

tomorrow, seattle or bust!

prairie dogs are adorable.
i still miss my cats very much.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Smoot total - 1 465 791.04 smoots.

* I oughtta smack Carl upside the head, HARD.

magnets=the great national roadtrip souvenir, and I bought the moccasins just to irritate him.

I will not doubt that i hit the buffet HARD. When 99.9% of the cherry tomatoes have a bad case of mush-rot and the celery is dry, you sort of have to.

But greetings from what we like to call "America's Attic". You know, where they stick things they aren't sure what to do with. National Monuments, the Natives who used to own the country, Grassland. Sure. Just stick it in the Dakotas between the Corn Palace and the Oversized Novelty President Heads Carved into a Mountain.

We kind of love it here. I doubt the cats miss us.

smoots to sioux

rather subdued trek across the midwest and into
sioux falls, south dakota. lots of casinos here as
every once proud tribe has given in to 0.05 cent
gambling chips at local gas stations. highlight
thus far has been the world's largest truck stop,
in walcott, iowa. ate a delicious plate of steak
and eggs. aimee hit up the buffet table HARD.
aimee hit up the weird shoe dept HARD. aimee
hit up the cheap magnet kiosk HARD.* to sum
up the iowa 80 experience, carl ate steak and
eggs, and aimee hit everything HARD. HARD.

saw a wonderful sunset, then commented that
it was getting late, then remembered something
about a time change. extra hour of driving!
to sioux falls! HARD!

now i'm updating blogs and flickr
tomorrow, wall drug, mitchell corn palace,
and satan's smokestack or ladder to hades
or tower or whatever. i still miss my cats.

funny things names from day #two:

    fangboner rd.
    gore orphanage
    and a man driving a bright yellow corvette
    with vanity plates reading "PAYROLL"

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

573 077.015 smoots - Cleveland, Ohio pt.2

carl here. journey started late. woke up 4hrs behind schedule. decided
to give our friend TK a lift to the plane station. off to the mass pike.
soggy butter bagels at some crapdive chain in newton. then back on
the pike. its, like, noon. on the road again like willie. smooth ride
through central, then western mass. bershires beauty. border towns
still lost in time. large ponds. locals in pick ups. over into new york,
or The Western Mass Extension. turnpike through mass-rip-off towns.
design flaws of old mill towns. utica, esp. then to george saunders
land (didn't see him). old familiar settings and backyards in henrietta.

by nine we were in buffalo and i was on the phone texting TK that
we'd be in chicago before she (plane delayed at JFK somewhere).
intense scary lightning over the great lakes. started off in one
singular cloud then grew and grew and grew until we finally hit
ohio and the skies opened. here in cleveland, as aimee said earlier.
watching PBS. looking for red sox scores. i miss my cats.

stat of the day:

    2 adult video and fireworks "super stores"
    within a half mile just over the new york border
    into PA. followed by "trucker town".

573 077.015 smoots - Cleveland, Ohio

Day one:

There are many beautiful sights to be seen in this country. Cleveland, Ohio is not one of them.

We don't have any pictures to report. But we are doing well! Lounging at a Day's Inn and watching the Ken Burns WWII Documentary.

Tomorrow we make for the cornfields!

Monday, September 17, 2007

0 Smoots - Jamaica Plain, MA

Well, Carlos and I are married, amidst much hilarity.

Unfortunately, 99% of the photos are either a) polaroids or b) still in our lovely photographer's camera awaiting processing!

Stay Tuned!